How to Be an Alpha Male – Befriending Everyone

by Kurt Spelling

Today’s article is in response to a reader who wants to know how to be an alpha male around other men? Specifically he want to know how to relate to other men who come up throughout various situations, like meeting strangers in the club or on the street.

More generally, they would like to know how to be strong, positive, and outgoing without a competitive or low energy feel around other men.

Good question!

This is definitely something that a lot of guys find tricky, but I feel the answer is simple. It comes down to living with an open heart (putting yourself out there) and no outcome orientation (no specific intentions other than to socialize and have fun). Essentially, you’re just chatting. That’s the kind of vibe you want to have.

If you see a specific girl who you’d like to approach, but she is around other guys, you can still go and start a conversation with a direct opener, such as “Hi, I thought you were cute and wanted to say hello. I’m such and such.”

If there’s another man there that happens to be her boyfriend they’ll speak up, but don’t worry! This is not the scary, horrible situation that the media plays it out to be. I usually take that opportunity to compliment the other man on his taste, which always makes them feel cool and usually will get you another couple friends in the club.

It’s about having no expectations, and therefore, no disappointments. When the boyfriend enters the picture, it’s not a bad thing. Learning how to be in this state of relaxed social flow is very important for knowing how to be an alpha male in all social scenes.

Now let’s address how to talk with other men in the club without feeling competitive. The real answer to is to not feel like you’re in a competition, and that again goes back to outcome orientation.

If you are truly out there to just socialize and have fun, there’s no outcome that can be a loss. The only reason that you would ever feel competitive is because you view other males as your competitors. It all stems from the outcome orientation of “I’m going to go up to this girl to take her home, or get her phone number. These guys, they’re the enemy and are in my way.”

That whole mindset is not self-serving and definitely not alpha male. It’s negative, inauthentic, and makes you seem like a value taker instead of giver. Also, it is not when your top level game is going to come out. Your top level game is going to come out where you’re just chill. You’re cool. You’re chatting. Everyone is cool.

The guys that are around the girl you want could end up being your next buddy. If you want to be an alpha male, you have to be relaxed and comfortable at all times. Who is relaxed during competition? Nobody!

So, it all stems back to how you’re viewing the club. If you’re viewing it as a place where there is a winner of the prize (women), and you have to be able to take that prize out from under all the other competitors (other men), then that’s how you’re vibe will be. This makes you come off as aggressive, combative, NOT chill or cool.

You’re game and results will suffer as a result.

Learning how to be an alpha male in social situations is as simple as adopting the mindset that “everyone is cool and a potential new friend”. That will make you get along with basically everyone, which is an alpha male characteristic.

The simplest answer to this question is to just be chill. Talk as if they are already your buddies. Chat with people. Don’t really care what happens because then there is no competition. For there to be a competition there has to be an end result in mind, creating “winners” and “losers”.

If there’s no end result in mind, if you’re just out chatting with an open heart, enjoying it, feeling the range of emotions, enjoying the experience of expanding yourself through conversation and meeting other people, then there is no loss. So there’s no competitors, there’s no competition. It’s just fun.

If you want to know how to be an alpha male, this is a mindset you absolutely must integrate. It makes you so socially cool that it becomes effortless to meet new people. And if you want to get your hands on my complete guide for meeting, attracting, and seducing the women you desire, check out my Simple Seduction system! It’ll take your game to the next level.

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