Building Self Esteem by Achieving Your Goals
by Kurt Spelling
How many times have you set out to achieve something, yet failed miserably? More importantly, how often are you constantly reminded of your inability to make progress? What I mean is, how often do you think “boy I want to get a girlfriend” (or something similar), yet don’t have one?
This can be absolutely disastrous when you’re working on building self esteem!! Your self esteem suffers greatly every time you have an intention to achieve something, yet don’t achieve it.
Luckily, you’ve come to the right place!
This article will show you how to achieve your goals with women, regardless of what they may be, and start building self esteem at a rapid pace.
Now let’s get into specifics. How many times have you said “I’m going to lose 10 lbs” “I’m going to make more money” “I’m going to approach 5 women” “I’m going to get a girlfriend” etc. yet NOT achieved these things?
How many times have you heard your friends talking about how they were going to do all these things, but they NEVER did it?
If you’re like most people, A LOT!
As human beings, we have a lot of problems following through. Most people fail to hold themselves accountable and lack the integrity to actually achieve what they say they want to do. There are a host of reasons why people do not achieve the goals they set. In order to help you achieve your goals with women and really start building self esteem, I’m going to discuss the two biggest:
1. Negative Self Speak
2. Talking Too Much!
The first one is obvious so I’ll tackle that first. Negative self speak is when you say “I’m going to get a hot girlfriend” and then a little voice in the back of your head (ego) says “But you’re ugly”, almost as if you were saying it under your breath. Most people have this problem without even realizing it. You say you’re going to achieve your goal and then your ego says NOPE!!!
Without realizing it, you listen to your ego.
Here’s a brief side note on ego, and why it would do such a thing. You’re ego is the part of your brain that see’s yourself as “I am”. Your ego sees you only as this physical body, as opposed to the limitless being that you are. Your ego sees things as “Mine” such as “my car” “my house” “my girlfriend” when really you’re just temporarily borrowing all of those things from the universe. You are going to die one day and return all this stuff and your ego will keep you in fear of this for as long as you let it.
Your ego sees you only as the you are now, and sees changing this person as the death of itself (because this version of the ego will no longer exist). Your ego fears change and resists it. That is why when you say “I’m going to get this dime piece for my girl” your ego will evaluate it, realize it doesn’t fit into your current reality, and then attempt to undermine you. This is how the ego can preserve itself in its current state, through negative self speak.
If you want to begin building self esteem at a rapid pace, the ego will have to die, over and over again!
So how can we shut our egos up and move past our current reality?
Positive thought reinforcement, small, incremental goals, and progressive habits are the way beyond ego.
First, notice whenever you are thinking negative thoughts and do your best to move away from these useless things and switch your attention. When you catch yourself thinking “You’re too fat” “You’re too dumb” “You’re too shy” “You’re too blah!” replace them with the opposite.
Accompany these new, positive thoughts with a visual. Your ego tells you you’re fat, picture yourself as the thin person you are trying to (and will eventually) become. Reassure yourself that you are moving toward your goal on a daily basis and embrace the positive thought.
The more you can embrace these positive thoughts, the quicker you will be building self esteem!
Sounds like a lot of work, but overtime the negative thoughts are few and far between. It gets easier and easier, until it doesn’t even seem difficult in the slightest.
Now start setting your goals in small increments. If you are flat broke, telling yourself “I’m going to be a millionaire!” is too far away from your current reality to possibly be embraced. Same if you’ve never had a girlfriend and your goal is to be going on 5 dates per week. Too far!!
By setting smaller incremental goals, you feel much more deserving of them and you’re ego will not have quite as strong of a negative reaction to them. It seems more real, more achievable, and more likely to actually happen. This will set you on the path to improving your self esteem over time, bit by bit.
If you’re completely void of women, set a goal to approach five women per week. Once that’s super easy, set a goal to approach five women per day. Keep moving toward your ultimate goal, whatever that may be, by setting smaller goals that lead you in the right direction.
These smaller goals will eventually cause you to have a progressive lifestyle. Expanding yourself as a person in the exact direction you want to go will become your life habit. Every time you do these things it will be improving your self esteem.
Eventually, everything will flip. You will feel BAD on days when you have not furthered yourself toward your goal and will be HAPPY when you’re doing the work you know you need to do. Your indifference or wanting will fade away and you will become a person of action!!
These actions combined will help stop the ego and your negative self speak habits. This brings us to number 2, which was “Stop talking so much!!”.
Let me explain.
This happens to almost everybody. The crazy thing is, almost nobody realizes this absolutely crucial point!
When you talk about your goals with people, you feel great! Don’t you? Think about the last time you told someone about your list of resolutions. I bet you felt pretty good. Awesome!
The problem is that by achieving these good feelings through merely describing your goals to people, you often satisfy your ego. It’s almost like “Okay, I’ve done enough” just by talking! You’ve done literally nothing, but have managed to generate good feelings in a formerly bad feeling part of your life. Your ego gets satisfied, your drive to succeed fades, and eventually you forget your goals and slink back to the same person you were. Ego loves this! It’s sneaky I tell ya.
And if you truly want to build your self esteem, you’ll have to avoid this trap!
Also, the people you’re telling about your goals may negatively influence you with their own thoughts and opinions, even if they are trying to help! You’re absolute best friends can undermine your self esteem without even realizing it or intending to. If you expected them to react one way and they reacted another way, you might have an internal dialogue that brings up a lot of negative self speak. This can be very detrimental to achieving your goals!
For example, you’ve just watched my 1-hour video seminar and now you’re excited to go out and start approaching women.
So you go tell your best friend, “Hey man! I just found this awesome tutorial on how to meet women. I’m going to start approaching 5 women a day now until I have 3 girlfriends!”
He’s not accustomed to that reality and doesn’t believe you. “That stuff is probably a scam.”, he says.
Now your friend, who has no bad intentions, has unwittingly undermined your confidence. Your negative self speak is cued by him having a different (non-excited) reaction than the one you were expecting. Tell enough people about your goal and watch how fast you no longer believe in yourself for achieving it! Watch how fast your self esteem get’s whittled away! It’s awful.
Now that I’ve explained why you should stop talking so much, it will affect you less. Trust me though, it still is a great practice to keep your goals to yourself until you are near completing them, or at least until you have progressive habits and your momentum is unstoppable.
By removing your negative self speak and keeping your goals to yourself, you will be MUCH more like to actually achieve them. Taking on ego by incorporating positive reinforcements, progressive habits, and setting smaller goals will change you at your core. By becoming a “doer” not a “talker” you will begin changing and progressing faster than the people around you. You will be building self esteem at a rapid fire pace. You will find yourself in a league of your own. You will become the earth shaker you were meant to be!
All of this will culminate in an unstoppable self esteem that turns you into someone who is DANGEROUSLY attractive to women! I mean, that’s what we’re after right?
Using this information is just the tip of the iceberg. You can figure out the rest yourself, or you can take the first step to achieving a mastery with women, and read my Simple Seduction system. It will lead you on a path toward improving self esteem in all areas and mastering the dating game today!
The tips in here will change your life with women, so check it out!
Click Here to Download my Simple Seduction System
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