How to Talk to Women – Two Big Tips
by Kurt Spelling
Learning how to talk to women is essential in becoming a man with sexual choice. I feel this much is obvious. But, how can you start talking to women more naturally, with a consistently fun conversation, and a relaxed vibe?
How to talk to women is one of the biggest questions I get, and in this article I’m going to discuss two different readers’ questions.
One question asks my opinion on DHV(displaying higher value) storytelling during conversations with women. The second asks how to talk to women without running out of things to say. Let’s get right into it because both of these are super important to understand when approving your abilities with women.
Question One: Using DHV story telling?
DHV story telling is commonly taught by a lot pickup artists. This comes from Mystery Method originally and is the practice of telling stories which showcase your good qualities when talking to women.
By sharing high value stories about your life, you can create a lot of comfort and attraction with women, while not seeming as try-hard by just stating “I’m a good football player.” A story about your 5-touch down game and celebration is a much cooler way to convey this point.
My opinion is that having stock stories that you know are funny and show you in a good light is a great thing to do, AT FIRST. When I was first learning how to talk to women, I definitely employed this technique. It really helps as a “talking to women crutch”, so to speak.
It’s comforting to know that you can open conversation and always have a few different stories to keep the conversation flowing while displaying your positive qualities.
So, in the beginning of learning how to talk with women and expanding your confidence, I completely suggest having a couple of stories that you know are fun to tell and that consistently generate good reactions.
Once you start self-actualizing and you really start attacking life in all aspects, not just in talking to women, but in every area, this is when you should drop the canned stories. Once you begin gaining true confidence and living your life’s passion, you simply become high value, and don’t need to have stock DHV stories. When you’re living your life’s purpose, whatever you did yesterday is a DHV story, because people who are living their passion are rare.
Talking about your daily activities should be a DHV because you actually ARE high value. That’s the real goal here. You want a recap of your average day to be a story worth telling. This is when women will truly flow into your life in abundance with very little effort!
Start by finding a hobby and you really love to do. If it’s part of your passion and you do it every day, well then it becomes very easy to talk about what you did yesterday display a lot of value. So, in the beginning, having some stories is cool, but I suggest looking inside and begin learning about what you’re passions are.
When you begin embracing this, you’ll become high value, and you’ll start talking to high value women. Knowing how to talk to women won’t be an issue because everything will just flow naturally from a place of cantered confidence. You spread the value and value returns to you.
Question Two: How to keep a conversation flowing.
The first step is to get some DHV stories to tell, like from question one. This will help you get used to having conversations with women. Once you can get comfortable, it’s much easier to utilize my next tip on how to talk to women.
Neil Strauss calls this “Hook Theory”, and I think it’s a SUPER simple and effective way to keep your conversations flowing. In every sentence there’s three or four “hooks” that you can grab to expand the conversation.
For example, a girl says “Yeah, back at school I was doing a sculpture on an elephant and then my dad showed up on his motorcycle.” There’s at least five new things that you could talk about with this girl, based on this sentence alone.
They’re all the hooks. What school? Sculptures? Elephants? Her dad showed up, why? He drives motorcycles?
See how easy it is to keep a conversation going? Just think of each word as a potential for expansion.
How to talk to women effectively is much more about cantering your emotions. You need to carry no anxieties with you.
You need to just be in the moment and enjoy conversing for the sake of conversing. Expand on their sentences because you are just enjoying speaking with another person, not because you have an agenda or some goal in mind.
With this mindset, talking to women is really easy, laid back, and simple. It’s so important not to be up in your head thinking of what to say next.
Recognize that you being you is enough. You don’t need to have some spectacular conversation. If you think you’re high value and value yourself, that’s the most important part of talking to women!
Think about it this way. If you were a movie star and you were talking to some chick at a club, would you be thinking, “Hmm uh should I say this? Would that be cool enough? Is she going to like it if I say that?” OR, would you just say whatever you felt like, because you’re cool? The second one!
So, you’re a movie star. Your game is a 10. You’re high value. Does it really matter what you say? No. You’re just speaking to another human being. You’re not trying to impress someone. You’re not trying to make her like you.
You’re just speaking, you’re just conversing, you’re connecting, you’re enjoying that moment and that conversation. This is exactly how to talk to women and easily flow in conversation.
A lot of times I’ll say very little. I feel as though conversation is mostly an exchange of energies and it’s all about how close our energies are syncing up and how open her energy is to me. This is getting a bit advanced and abstract, but when you get to a high level, that’s how conversations will feel.
Just remember, you don’t have these anxieties or struggles when you’re talking with your guy friends. You’re just talking with them, knowing that “You are enough”. You don’t need to come up with some amazing conversation every time. That’s how to talk to women as well. Chilled, natural, flowing.
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